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and with that i am going to bed

it’s 9 o clock

but i was up at 5 this morning to get in line for the panel and oh wow you wouldn’t think a day of standing in lines to meet your celebrity crush would be tiring

but im fucking exhausted

i will dream nice dreams tonight of the way nathan fillion smelled and how super hot he is in person

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i made some awesome castle friends while waiting in line for our nathan pictures today

kim and the dude who’s name i can’t remember with the man crush on nathan, if you’re out there on tumblr, you were fun. thanks for making that 2 hour wait in line a little less tiring.

we chatted about our season finale theories and how we all kinda love stana a whole lot and how we would geek out to meet her even though we were waiting to see nathan. 

and then we all fangirled over our pics together when they came out. and then we parted ways. and i may never see you again, but i love friendships like that. that part of the day i will remember just as much as the moment when we all finally met nathan.

so so good. 

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[x] Gates McFadden on the role of women in Star Trek (1993)

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So I was able to go to a panel yesterday with Gates McFadden and Denise Crosby.

and I’m not a huge star trek buff. 

I’ve seen the original, I’ve seen TNG years ago, a lot is just memories of watching it with my mom when I was a kid, but I’ve seen it.

Anyway, during the panel there were lots of girls asking questions, commenting on how they looked up to them as kids because they were strong women and how they really shaped how they grew up and that it meant so much to them to have these women here that they looked up too and gained so much strength from.

And it was crazy because I knew the feeling. I was too young to take away the strong female role model aspect from TNG ladies (which just means I’m gonna have to rewatch that now) but I knew exactly how those girls felt because of women in television who have done that for me. (Cotes and Stana). 

It was was crazy too because Gates was talking about how she got fired from TNG for a period of time because she would argue that things were to racist/sexist and they didn’t like that she stood up for her character and the show. And then she was ultimately asked back to the show a year or so later because so many people wrote in fan letters saying how important a role she played and how that kind of female role was needed on tv, and so yeah, she came back.


and she was so sweet talking about it, she said she personally read every single letter that was written to her and that hearing all of the personal stories from people about how she had changed their lives was the greatest gift to her in that time when she was gone from the show.

anyway. i got so many cote feels from it, it was crazy.

and then there was Denise. who was only on TNG for one season and she left the show after just that first season because the writers of the show told her that in reality she would never be more than just a supporting character who said, “yes captain” from the bridge. and she was so amazing, taking about how her decision to distance herself from the show had nothing to do with anyone but her personal beliefs. and she knew she was more than just a background woman to the leading men, and so she took a stand, asked to eventually have a more important role, and when they said no, she quitely excused herself from the show.

ugh. i mean. it just sounded all too familiar it was nuts.

but it was one of the best experiences for me to hear someone talk about how much fan appreciation means to someone famous and yeah all these bad ass women are just amazing and i’m so grateful for every moment.

it was just awesome. i have mad respect for those ladies.

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Still in a state of shock.





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Well it happened

A picture of Nathan Fillion and myself exists.

His arm was around my shoulder.

I am living the god damn dream.

Nobody touch me.

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Day Made. And we haven’t even done the photo op yet.

Day Made. And we haven’t even done the photo op yet.

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Standing in line to get my autograph.

I feel slightly light headed

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Got my Cap’n Hammer shirt on. Ready to meet Nathan. #deepbreaths #youcandothis #becool #dontfreakout #saltlakecomiccon #fanxperience

Got my Cap’n Hammer shirt on. Ready to meet Nathan. #deepbreaths #youcandothis #becool #dontfreakout #saltlakecomiccon #fanxperience

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Holy shit he’s actually here. #nathanfillion #fanx #saltlakecomiccon

Holy shit he’s actually here. #nathanfillion #fanx #saltlakecomiccon

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Favorite Castle episodes; 5.19 The Lives of Others

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I was up at 5:30 am to line up for Nathan’s panel at 10.